Keep It Positive – K.I.P.

Being positive is one of the great traits to have in life.  Research shows there are many health benefits, including living longer, having less illnesses and being able to more quickly recover from sickness.  In terms of work, individuals in positive work environments are more productive than those in negative environments.  Also optimistic people are less likely to be laid-off or fired.  Employers find it easier to work with people to improve their job skills than to improve their attitude.  Also positive people are better at solving problems and getting support to assist them.  Being optimistic means others will enjoy talking to you, helping you, and being around you. 

One could easily say “it pays to be positive.” However, it is one thing to say you are, or want to be, a positive person and another to actually be that way on a consistent basis.  Below are my 12 ways to ”Keep It Positive” - K.I.P.

1.      See the good in a given situation or at least believe in the possibility of good eventually occurring.

Many times when things do not go the way we would like, we focus only on the present moment.  Take for example, being laid off from a job.  People will focus on the fact that they are now unemployed and must look for another job.  This means writing a resume, searching and applying for a job, then going for interviews.  Those are things many of us do not like doing.  However, the eventual outcome could be a job paying more money or doing work which is more enjoyable or fulfilling.  However, if we focus only on our present condition of having lost our job, we will not be able to see the good possibilities and opportunities which could result.  That lack of foresight can keep us stuck being negative and not taking the actions needed to get another job.

 2.      Choose your words carefully before your speak … if you speak at all.

Whenever possible, speak words of encouragement, support and helpfulness.  If you must say something that is less of positive about someone or a situation, think about the best words to use.  Many times, we are on automatic when it comes to how we talk.  We all have our natural tendencies.  Some of us are very direct while others are indirect or even vague.  Some of us naturally phrase what we say in a positive manner while others are more negative.  What we say affects others, and how they view us.  For example, saying “She is stupid” will be taken differently and create a different impression about the person speaking than saying “She made a huge mistake”. 

We also need to understand that, in many cases, speaking is an option.  “To speak or not to speak”, that should be the question we ask ourselves whenever we are not being asked a question to which we must respond.  In the past I would find myself thinking “Donna, why are you talking about this person or this situation.  Does what you are saying need to be said?  Who benefits from this conversation?”  Being more conscious of what we are about to say can help us express things differently.  My grandmother would always told me to “Think before you speak”.  I believe that advice is worth following.

 3.      Think constructively about yourself and others.

How do you think about yourself?  In your mind, what words do you use when talking to yourself about what you have done or are thinking about doing?  Are they words like exciting, interesting, smart, attractive, funny?  Are they words like boring, dumb, ugly, slow.  What we think affects how we function in life.  Keep it positive on the inside so we have more positive experiences on the outside.  This is true of how we think about ourselves and others.

 4.      Limit how much time you will think or talk about an upsetting situation. 

 Unfortunately, unpleasant things do happen and they may have to be dealt with.  However, based on the severity of the situation, limit the amount of time and energy you will put into thinking and talking about it.  Remember the saying “Don’t’ make a mountain out of a mound hill”.  Thinking about how to address or solve a matter is time well-spent.  Thinking “poor me”, “that’s unfair” and similar thoughts is not spending time well. Thinking to take action makes sense.  Thinking to complain and feel misery is not.

 5.      Avoid the “Blame Game”.  Take responsibility for your actions or your role in a situation.

During a TV interview, Chris Rock, the comedian and actor said “It is never the audience’s fault.  If the movie is not good, it is my fault.  If the TV show is not good, it is my fault.   I don’t care if someone gets shot in the middle of my show, if I can’t get the crowd back (laughing), it is my fault.  It is my responsibility to rock the house, every single time, no matter what.”  Now that is truly taking responsibility.  I have embraced Rock’s “It is always my fault” philosophy.  I suggest you do likewise.  It will change how you view everything that happens to you. 

6.      Have a “solution approach" to an issue instead of a “problem approach."

When faced with a challenge think “what is the solution?”.  How can I best deal with this matter?   Focus on all the options you have for action, instead of focusing on all the obstacles  When I was working in corporate America, I would notice that most people was focusing on the problems at meetings, during lunch-time conversations, in emails and phone calls.  Early in my career, I had a manger who insisted that if you wanted to talk to him about a problem, you also had to have the solution.  It did not have to be the final solution, a good solution, or even a workable solution, but you had to have some type of solution or he want to hear about the problem.  That changed the way I thought and what I talked about to him.  Eventually I found myself talking to others in a more-solution oriented way, even during personal conversations. Focusing on solutions is a shift to more positive-thinking.  Focusing only on the problems is negative-thinking.  So understand the problem and focus on the solutions.

 7.      Choose carefully to whom you talk about an upsetting situation.

 When unpleasant things happen we need to talk to someone.  Who we choose can make all the difference.  Do not talk to people who can only point out the unfairness of the situations or how others are to blame.  Talk to people who can help you brainstorm about solutions, who can encourage you to take appropriate actions or who can help you in some way, even if it is only to feel that things will work in time.

 8.      Practice patience.

Practice patience.  I love the quote “A delay is not a denial”.  When we want something we usually focus on getting it within a short time.  In our fast-paced world we think everything should happen immediately, which is not always the case.  Impatience can easily lead to pessimistic because the focus is on the fact that we do not have what we want.  Having faith that we will eventually get what we desire can help us practice patience, as can being grateful for what we do have.

9.      Realize "the grass is not always greener."

This age-old sentiment still has real value today. Thinking other people have things which would make us happy can be the fast-track to negativity.  It is important to understand that all of us have both a "foreground" as well as a "background" to our lives. The foreground is what everyone sees. It could be your job, business, home, car, family, etc. The foreground is also the impression people have of what they think your life is like.

The background is what your life is really like. It is what people usually do not fully see or understand. This can either be in line with what people think or very different from it. I believe most of the time our impressions about others are far from the truth. Whether they are or not, our time would be better spent in the positive pursuit of creating what we want in our lives than focusing on the lives of others in a comparative manner.

 10.  Have a learning approach to life.

When unpleasant things happen, often we become upset or sad.  However, if we concentrate on “what did I learn” than we can find value in many disappointments.  Let’s look at the previous example of getting laid off.  If the event came as a huge shock to us than maybe the lesson to be more aware of what is going on in our company or industry so we are will not be taken by surprise in the future.  Maybe we need to build a better or broader network of co-workers or business colleagues who keep us apprised as to what is going on and we can do likewise.  Maybe we need to ask yourself through our attitude and behavior were we assets or liabilities.  Answers to the questions can help us do things differently in our next job.  That is having a learning approach.

 11.  Associate with positive people.

People’s attitudes influence us.  Research shows that we become like the people we associate with most often.  So if you are around negative people, you become more like them.  Whenever possible, be around optimistic people and limit the time you spend with pessimistic people who are always seeing “doom and gloom”.  If you cannot completely avoid them (such as co-workers, managers, and family members), at least limit your interactions with them as much as possible. 

12.  Limit the time you spend watching TV new programs and reading newspapers.

Much of the news focuses on the ills of our society.  There is a saying in newsrooms that  “what bleeds is what leads”.  In other words, put all the horrible and shocking news up front and make that the focus.  A consistent diet of such terrible information can make us start to feel, think and see things from a pessimistic viewpoint.  Plan to “stay informed with what is going on, but not inundated with negative news.”

Donna Satchell, President of STARR Consulting & Training is a speaker, trainer and author.  She provides programs in customer service, team-building, time management, public speaking as well as motivational speeches which inspire individuals to live more successful lives.  Please visit www.JustGetSerious.com for information about products and services as well as to view videos of Donna’s speeches.  Contact her at 770-498-0400 or Donna@JustGetSerious.com.

Copyright 2006-2007 - Donna Satchell   All rights reserved. 

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